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An excessive concern for what other people think inevitably leads to what Carl Jung famously described as a persona, in Jung’s words "a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual." Yagan describes the fallacy of this please-them-all approach.
When someone posts an attractive profile photo that reveals nothing about their inner life, he told us, that sort of image may generate a positive response but it’s not likely to lead to matches.
Some individuals are single, living far away from their extended families.
Some are estranged from their kin for whatever unfortunate reason.
But pretty or not, she was a top candidate, and I was certain she d be accepted to the program.
So I was stunned when a senior professor in our department told me, quite causally in the hallway, that she had decided not to offer this young woman a Some face the reality of spending Christmas Day alone.
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“If Dungeons and Dragons is your thing you want that person who will say: ‘Oh my god! “Flaunt your big nose, curvy full figure or weird snaggletooth, and you’ll attract that kind of person who finds it exciting.” In other words, if you want to find true romance, Yagan advises, “Look for the 1% who will love you for who you really are.” This seems like good advice for women and poor advice for men.
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If you can please include your race and age in your post.
“Getting 99% of the people to kind of like you is a waste of time,” Yagan said.
So if constructing a cleaned-up, generic version of our online selves is not the way to find love—then what is?
“We see so many images [on the site] that are designed to minimize some supposedly unattractive trait, like the close-cropped picture of a person who’s overweight,” said Yagan.