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When I finally met someone (online) who seemed to really like and appreciate me, it completely blew my mind, and I felt on top of the world.So, we chat for ages, find lots of similar interests, have all kinds of interesting conversations, things seem to be going great behind the sanitizing curtain of the internet. She’s pretty overweight, but, hell, I could lose a few pounds too. Except when we meet in person, I find out I gets in to everything and makes me nauseous.Essentially, I feel trapped in a long distance relationship.Feeling trapped probably means I should end it, but, I’m feeling pretty conflicted about a lot of things.One of the most perverse aspects of being human is how hard we fight against our own best interests.Our brains are prone to a host of psychological effects and fallacies that convince us that we damn good and well that I needed to break up with my girlfriend – for years longer than I should have.Every visit, I’d leave not sure if I wanted to be with this person but as soon as I’d come home loneliness and nostalgia set in and suddenly I’m thinking “Well, it’s probably not as bad as all that. As much as I’m a non-confrontational person, I’ve tried to do some prodding about these issues, and I’ve been met with firm resistance. I don’t enjoy our time together in person, but maybe I just need to get used to it? Staying with her is easier, and safer, and better (so I tell myself). If I break things off now, I will have been wasting her time, for years.
There’s nothing that can ensure a swift, decisive kick to your soul’s nuts like finding out your snugglebunny has been dying inside for the last two months, four months, year, what-have you.There are some issues that come up that I’m sure I can handle. I like to go out with friends and play games, she’s more a quiet, stay-at-home type. I really dislike dealing with her when she’s drunk.I thought I didn’t mind her weight but it turns me off and I don’t really enjoy sex with her.As unromantic as it is to say this – and I’ll get in trouble with the Dating Advice Giver’s Union for saying it – sometimes shit happens and we realize we’re no longer into our partners as much as we once were.People and relationships grow and change over time and that spark may vanish. Other times those changes mean that we’re no longer compatible, sexually or romantically.
Pride doesn’t help in times like this, it only hurts.