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Again, this so obvious it’s hardly worth mentioning. We don’t do this because we have allusions to getting lucky. We just get a kick out of being in the company of beautiful women. This means that we are attracted to most of our female friends. There are lots of women that would make suitable friends. Why not put your effort towards the ones you find most attractive?
I had to face the fact that while we both shared a pain about all of this, he has the privilege of still being madly in love with me, of seeing me intact and good and worthy, and I remain…broken. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. If you think this is just a bunch of nonsense designed to put all the responsibility on women, that I’m letting men off the hook, then read my other article about what men need to accept and do if they expect to have a good sexual relationship. This entry was posted on Friday, December 18th, 2009 at pmand is filed under .I saw the big picture, and it was complicated, sobering. At first, the relief of reconciling was wonderful and I thought that the separation was really the last ingredient of moving past all this, and being happy again. And he’s a better man, father, and spouse for all that we have struggled together. Its either accepting this sadness and moving forward with what is otherwise good, or going through the pain, complication, and destruction of a divorce, a two-home co-parenting relationship, of introducing (eventually) new people, new family systems, into this increasingly complicated situation, a greater financial burden… Its been two months and I’m back to trying to wrap my head around this marriage. The man he is today is a kind, loving, generous, sweet, intelligent, successful man. And he is the father of my children, and a good father. We don’t have to sell the house, our home remains intact. On the other hand, I see the marriages of my friends and family members and, while they are not perfect and while I know that I can never really know what goes on in other marriages, there is a sort of… You know that feeling like, if you could do it all over again, of course you’d marry him? That you just accept him for all he is, and he accepts you, and that is what love is?
We were able to experience, and imagine, what divorce and a two-home family would be like. Everyone would be okay no matter what direction we ultimately took. I would have married my ex-boyfriend if I knew then what I know now. Well, my “the One” certainly wouldn’t have spent 4 years screwing hookers. And, in truth, I see him for who he is TODAY and I don’t want to lose that man. I think I am at a place where I do believe a marriage can survive. I do believe there is life, together, beyond D-day and that the two people can even grow stronger, more real, than before. That you accept a life of peace and contentment, but not happiness.